Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Back to Blogging - Imperfect Motherhood

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(Caitie-Baby 2001 -- above photos copyrighted to me)
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Note: This is a re-post from a few years back but still relevant and I could use a reminder - enjoy. :)
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With my kids all happily back in school (yay!!) and a summers worth of swimming, picnics, car trips, and lots of fun in the sun behind me - it's time to return to my daily blogging.

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Good Mothers vs. Bad Mothers - Moms Judging Moms vs. Moms Supporting Moms
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I thought I would begin my first post back by talking about being a mom. I am fortunate that I have been able to be a stay-at-home mom, but there are all kinds of moms out there. Let me be the first to say - we as women all need to support each other more!! We seem to have this vision of perfection that is an unrealistic idea for anyone to live up to. I read a small article from a book this summer that hit a nerve. It went something like this.
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The good mother remembers to serve fruit at breakfast. Is always cheerful and never yells. Manages not to project her own neurosis and inadequacies onto her children. Is an active and beloved community volunteer. She remembers to make play dates. Her children's clothes fit perfectly. She does art projects with them and she enjoys all their games. And of course is never too tired for sex.
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If you can prove this woman exists - I'll bet she is a "Stepford Wife."
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Have you ever noticed that dads completely get off the hook when it comes to this standard of perfection. I find that my husband only has to do the most minimum of activities with the children for the whole world to take notice and let him know he is "such a good dad." I am completely guilty in this observation of other husbands myself. If I see a dad walking through our neighborhood holding a child's hand - I think - what a good dad. When I see the countless women doing this same task - I take little or no notice.
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I have found that we as women tend to look for models of "bad mothers" because it makes us feel better. At least I'm not ----. "Good moms" make us feel like a failure. We have to reject this. Women cannot be everything to everyone. We have to stop judging ourselves and others by this "perfect mom" yardstick.
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So today I am celebrating the imperfection of motherhood and all the joy, tears, laughter and frustration that comes with real life and being a "real mom!!"
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10 comments:

lisa said...

Welcome back and Amen!

Piecefulafternoon said...

Good to see you back - wonderful post!!!!

Stacey said...

I would have to say I believe you might be a Stepford wife... or at least a Stepford sister because you are everything to me and I expect only the best from you.... but you can be imperfect to the rest of the gang ;)

Sta

Sabina said...

Thanks Sta - love you!!!!

Momma Chae said...

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boracay beach hotel said...

Wonderful post! Your baby's picture is extremely cute!

Have a blessed day to your family!

Jo (Pieceful Afternoon) said...

A good reminder - we need to support those who can stay home and those who can work outside the home - all moms are in need of support.

And a good reminder to us that a smile really makes our faces more attractive.

Meg the Wild Child said...

I sure do love and appreciate you Sabina - xoxo

Honeygo Beasley said...

Your baby's photos made me chuckle. How precious. What wonderful memories and a lovingly right-on post.

veronica said...

hi - i just found your beautiful blog through someone's pin on pinterest! love how that site connects one to so many wonderful blogs and sites... loved this post and agree and thought you might enjoy a recent post of mine on a similar subject over at www.veronicanorris.typepad.com
thanks for sharing such inspiring images...you are on my faves list!

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