Friday, August 31, 2007

10 Years

(Photographer Mario Testino)

I'm not one to follow the lifestyles of celebrities per say or really much on following fashion. I'm a casual observer - so what was it about Princess Diana that got my full attention. Yes, she was beautiful and had so much style and grace but that's really not it. Something about her seemed to represent something about all women on an unspoken level. She seemed able to let you see her as vulnerable and strong, broken hearted and open hearted, scorned, damaged but always very human. She had a love of the arts and cared so much about those in society who are often ignored. She married a man who did not love her and the place she found herself in was cold and unyielding yet she was indomitable in a way. I first observed her as just a pretty young girl marrying - who was that guy again - ah yes, Prince Charles. I was disturbed by the idea that she fit some kind of list they had as acceptable for marriage, and apparently had handpicked a virgin - suitable to bear the future heir to the throne. What century are we living in again? As her life unraveled before our eyes something else revealed itself. A woman who in her own words, "won't go quietly". I marveled at her with her two boys and watched her walk around in her landmine garb trying to make this world a little bit better for all. She seemed at times to suffer right before our eyes - hounded by the photographers - the sound of the camera shutters reeling like machine guns. Who could hold up under that kind of scrutiny? Not many. Of course all that ended 10 years ago in one shocking moment. I sat on the edge of my bed looking at my two boys sleeping quietly and thought of hers while watching them remove the crumpled car from that Paris tunnel - and my heart sank. What a terrible loss for all those that she touched with her unique spirit. She was lit from the inside and we loved to watch her shine but she did warn us, "Being a princess isn't all it's cracked up to be."

backyard, sunshine and sango

Aug. 31, 2007

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

We Are Our Choices (to borrow a line from Jean-Paul Sartre)

Even when I was a child I knew exactly what I liked and did not like. Yes, that’s what I want. No, I don’t want that. Of course it helped to have a mother who gave me the space to choose. I went along through life happily this way without a care. Even difficult choices never seemed to bother me much. I guess because I listened to my guts. Not really a pretty way of putting it. I could have said followed my heart but it really never felt that way - just a blunt decision– not much thought. Kind of like following a stream of consciousness. Of course life is never really that simple, she said stamping her foot. Drat! I’ve made my mistakes along the way. Overlooked a few diamonds right in front of me and of course made a few wrong choices - although I really don’t regret any of them. That’s another thing…I’m not much on regret or guilty feelings - too much to drag around through life. Better to learn from the mistake and move on…right? Unfortunately many others don’t share this attitude. Double drat!! Like everyone else all I can be in this world is me and that’s all I ever really wanted. Just the chance to live my life my own way and try to make things a little better for others along the road. I have always admired those who charge straight out into life like Jack London. What an inspiration. On the other hand I also admire those who, without notice most of the time, get the work done quietly and honestly without the sounding of the trumpets. So I send a whispered thank you out into the void and hope we all get where we are going in our own way and our own time. I like that!!!
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