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(Caitie-Baby 2001 -- above photos copyrighted to me)_
Note: This is a re-post from a few years back but still relevant and I could use a reminder - enjoy. :)
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With my kids all happily back in school (yay!!) and a summers worth of swimming, picnics, car trips, and lots of fun in the sun behind me - it's time to return to my daily blogging.
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Good Mothers vs. Bad Mothers - Moms Judging Moms vs. Moms Supporting Moms
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I thought I would begin my first post back by talking about being a mom. I am fortunate that I have been able to be a stay-at-home mom, but there are all kinds of moms out there. Let me be the first to say - we as women all need to support each other more!! We seem to have this vision of perfection that is an unrealistic idea for anyone to live up to. I read a small article from a book this summer that hit a nerve. It went something like this.
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The good mother remembers to serve fruit at breakfast. Is always cheerful and never yells. Manages not to project her own neurosis and inadequacies onto her children. Is an active and beloved community volunteer. She remembers to make play dates. Her children's clothes fit perfectly. She does art projects with them and she enjoys all their games. And of course is never too tired for sex.
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If you can prove this woman exists - I'll bet she is a "Stepford Wife."
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Have you ever noticed that dads completely get off the hook when it comes to this standard of perfection. I find that my husband only has to do the most minimum of activities with the children for the whole world to take notice and let him know he is "such a good dad." I am completely guilty in this observation of other husbands myself. If I see a dad walking through our neighborhood holding a child's hand - I think - what a good dad. When I see the countless women doing this same task - I take little or no notice.
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I have found that we as women tend to look for models of "bad mothers" because it makes us feel better. At least I'm not ----. "Good moms" make us feel like a failure. We have to reject this. Women cannot be everything to everyone. We have to stop judging ourselves and others by this "perfect mom" yardstick.
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So today I am celebrating the imperfection of motherhood and all the joy, tears, laughter and frustration that comes with real life and being a "real mom!!"
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